A month ago today, we touched down in Rome having left the only country that’s ever been home. Invariably, when I’ve told people of our move to Rome, everyone has asked, “Why?,” or something along those lines at least. It’s difficult to say succinctly, as this journey was the culmination of a wide array of factors aligning.
After Trump won in 2016, we were in shock; it felt like the America we thought we knew was a lie and maybe we didn’t truly belong there. We talked about needing to move somewhere permanently; Canada, Europe, anywhere that got us away from this toxic environment. Ultimately though, we weren’t ready to bite the bullet; we weren’t ready to leave our families/friends/jobs/lives behind.
Fast-forward a little over a year later, planning out where to go to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Erin’s family was going to watch Emilia for the better part of a week, and we wanted to plan a fun getaway. We compiled a list of a couple dozen possibilities, many of them on the opposite side of the pond. Most of those latter options were eliminated as we determined it wasn’t worth all the time we’d lose to travel when we had under a week to begin with. In that moment, we realized sadly that we’d likely not have the time or energy to visit many of them until Emilia had grown up and was out of high school. Not from America, that is. Every time we’ve visited Europe, we’ve inevitably encountered some couple from elsewhere on the continent who was just “visiting for the weekend.” The thought of Europe at our fingertips was intoxicating.
An idea that had just kind of floated around in the past had taken root. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Some of it simply came down to favorable timing. My passion for my current job had been waning, and I was ready for a change. Emilia missed the age cutoff to begin kindergarten last year by about a month, so we had an extra year of preschool ahead of us that didn’t seem critical for her development; her teachers had suggested she was ready for kindergarten, and she’s always been a social butterfly. Courtney, Emi’s nanny for practically her whole life, was facing her most rigorous term of nursing school, and we were looking at some challenges in our schedules as a result. While none of these were things that screamed, “Run away, as fast as you can!” they all helped nudge us in this direction. There were a few factors that weighed heavily, though:
Travel: I love to travel. It exposes me to so many wonderful sights, foods, views, people, and cultures and brings me a kind of joy that I can’t find staying so close to home. Growing up, my parents took us all over the world, and I thought I didn’t like travel. It wasn’t until years later, after I met Erin, that I came to realize that I simply needed to discover what I wanted to get out of travel, and to find the right travel companion(s). We honeymooned in Italy and Greece, and Italy (more specifically Rome) instantly became “our place.” We returned to Italy every few years, and while we always explored new cities/regions/countries with each trip, a stop in Rome was always the constant. It seemed like the perfect place not only to serve as a home base for additional travels, but to immerse ourselves in between stops.
Trump: The tangerine spectre of Donald Trump has been virtually inescapable since the day he won office. The past 2+ years have been a heart-rending window into how broken our country is, and how much hatred still thrives in it. Things were far from ideal before that, but at least there were things to feel optimistic about. I’m not going to go into a long diatribe about Trump; anyone who knows me remotely well knows my feelings on him. This put my past two years in better words than I could:
Midterms are over and at least some of the checks and balances have been restored for now. Quite simply, I wanted a break from feeling endless rage before it takes any more years off my life.
Emilia: My little girl loses more of her little with each passing day. It’s such a joy watching her grow, but I feel like I’ve missed so much of it. By the time I was getting home from work, I’d usually have 3 hours at most to spend time with her, and rarely did I get that much of it. I’ll never get this time back, and I want to make the most of it.
The Future: As much as the current status of America right now made me want to get away from it, my concerns over the uncertain future of everything factored in to this decision too. Nationalism and xenophobia seem as high among the global powers as they’ve been in decades. All of the solutions for terrorism being employed right now are likely just sowing the seeds for more violence for future generations. Climate change continues to be treated like something we can fix whenever we feel like getting around to it rather than something that’s already having tangible impacts in some places (including an upcoming destination of ours, Venice, which has been experiencing seasonal flooding with increased frequency). There’s so much that could go wrong on a macro level. Hopefully I’m worrying over nothing and everything will be fine, but I seriously worry about the state of the world and how different the global landscape may look by the time Emilia is grown and we’re not so tethered to one place.
This adventure was something that slowly brewed over the years. A lot of second-guessing and hand-wringing went into this decision; it’s easily the most adventurous thing I’ve ever done. I still have days where I can’t believe we did this and that we’re here in Rome. But so far, I don’t regret it for a moment, and I’m thrilled to see what else we do with our time here.
